#i dont see it and i dont mean this bitterly or spitefully
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#im not feelin good right now gfdugufdg#i dont post much like this anymore or at least as much as i used to and like dont take what i say as law#because this is very clearly just internalized transphobia speaking but i feel so . lost when other trans people#talk of it as a gift and a blessing and somethign that changes everything in a positive sort of way.#i never see it. i dont see it. i dont know what they're talking about'#all this ever does is make me sad or feel some type of negative emotion#angry. sad. bitter. solemn. hysterical#no matter what#i can feel happy at things that help me deal with issues involved with being trans#i can feel uplifted. valid. i can feel happy at things that may occur related to being trans#but i am never happy BECAUSE im trans#i dont see it and i dont mean this bitterly or spitefully#i desperately want to make any of this positive but it's hard. i dont think i can. it's so fucking hard#it's all so upsetting
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